The “dead” look was never who you really were
Many detransitioners look back at photos taken while they were on testosterone and see eyes that appear “blank and sad.” One woman wrote, “Your eyes look the most different… in the before they look blank and sad, and in the current pic they look bright and beautiful” – deserTShannon source [citation:c842cb42-8aa6-4929-a01a-7fe115e52f04]. The dullness was not a personal failing; it was a visible sign that the body and mind were under stress from synthetic hormones. When the hormones stopped, the same faces began to show relaxed, genuine smiles that reached the eyes—proof that the light had been there all along, only hidden.

Hormones can cloud both vision and emotion
Several people report that testosterone itself caused physical eye problems: pain, dryness, and worsening eyesight. One woman said her doctor told her, “it’s caused by the hormone fluctuation from taking HRT” – MadxWolf212 source [citation:cb3b17c0-6d02-48c4-97b4-2ff695b257f1]. Beyond the physical effects, many describe a heavy mental fog that lifted only after they stopped the injections. The “dead” or “empty” look was therefore both a medical side-effect and an emotional signal that something essential was being suppressed.

Healing is visible—and rapid
Detransitioners often notice the first brightening in the mirror within weeks or months. One woman posted side-by-side photos and heard, “Wow!! holy crap, thats amazing in just 7 months… your eyes are so much brighter” – chachidubss source [citation:360d0bdd-de5c-4450-abf7-ceb59fb67373]. The change is not just cosmetic; it reflects a deeper shift from performing a role to simply being oneself. Friends and strangers alike remark on the newfound ease in their faces, reinforcing that authenticity—not medication—was the missing ingredient.

Gender non-conformity is the path back to life
Rigid gender roles told these individuals that certain feelings or styles meant they had to become someone else. Detransition shows the opposite: by rejecting those roles and embracing gender non-conformity, they recovered their natural spark. The “light” in the eyes returned when they stopped trying to fit a stereotype and allowed themselves to express the full range of human emotion and appearance without labels.

You have not lost your light; it was only dimmed by a system that said you had to change your body to match your soul. Step away from the roles, give your body time to rebalance, and the brightness you remember will find its way home—no prescriptions required.