Why do people identify vaguely as “queer” now?
A compassionate look from detransitioned voices

1. Social pressure to label yourself – and the escape hatch called “queer”
Many detransitioners describe feeling pushed to announce an identity the moment they enter a new space. One woman writes, “I honestly find this new trend of having to state your ‘identity’ to people very weird… Now it’s like we’re supposed to state to people how they’re meant to see us?” sumth1nclever source [citation:8ce74b47-9da5-424a-8625-a2c675375024]. The umbrella word “queer” becomes a convenient shield: it sounds inclusive without forcing anyone to say “I’m gay,” “I’m lesbian,” or any other specific label that might carry stigma or invite questions.

2. Social-media love-bombing and the lure of micro-labels
Several contributors note that posting any LGBTQ+ identity online brings instant praise. A detrans male observes, “If you come out as any form of LGBT+ on the internet, you’re all but guaranteed to immediately be love-bombed… so you get straight people claiming they are queer in some way that is either really convenient or really obscure because they want to feel special.” EricKeldrev source [citation:8d38053b-66a5-4650-8a31-9da4c02a7de4]. The same platforms reward ever-tinier labels—“pan-ace-poly-demiromantic”—which can feel like costumes rather than descriptions of real life.

3. “Queer” as camouflage for plain old cis-het identity
Detrans women report a special pressure in alternative or nerdy circles: “People will be openly confused & disappointed when you aren’t also queer… It’s insane & such a far shoot from where we were even just 1.5 decades ago.” Sugared_Strawberry source [citation:ebef092a-89b2-4cac-937e-385bf3cd94a1]. Calling oneself “queer” can be a way to stay in the “cool” group without actually being gender-non-conforming or same-sex attracted.

4. Avoiding the word “gay” or “lesbian”
Some detransitioners admit they used “queer” to dodge confronting their own homosexuality. One man recalls, “the term ‘queer’ helped obfuscate the sexuality question… everyone I dated was either trans or gnc, so the sexuality question didn’t really come up because we were obviously too advanced for labels.” bronyfication source [citation:8e966c6e-af34-4f7a-a05c-f30e63525315]. Others note that “lesbian” still carries stigma, so “queer woman” feels safer.

5. Nostalgia for simpler labels and non-medical self-acceptance
Across the stories, a common refrain is longing for the days when “gay,” “lesbian,” or “bisexual” were enough. One woman sums it up: “I miss the days of just being lesbian, gay or bisexual.” inspireddelusion source [citation:6a963e9a-c234-4ab6-b3d9-2d844b305610]. The detransitioners encourage anyone questioning their identity to step back from the label carousel, explore their feelings with trusted friends or therapists, and remember that being yourself does not require medical intervention or an ever-expanding vocabulary—just honest, compassionate self-understanding.